'My online boyfriend catfished me... And 400 other women, too'

Could you still trust online dating if you knew that one in every ten dating profiles are fake?
This fashion blogger vows to never open a dating app again after the guy she thought was ‘the one’ turned out to be that dreaded one in ten.

Picture this: You meet the man of your dreams on Tinder during a tough time in your life. He’s your shoulder to cry on; he supports you, adores you, tells you that you’re beautiful and you think you can trust him with anything. Over the phone he tells you he’s in love with you, even though you’ve never actually met. And to top it all off, he looks like he was sculpted by the gods.

It sounds almost too good to be true, doesn’t it?

That’s because for 26-year-old Urszula Makowska, it was too good to be true. When she discovered the truth about her online boyfriend, her world turned upside down.

The New York City-based fashion blogger matched with who she thought to be a tall, dark and handsome man called Lucas in 2016. During a rocky time of her life, Urszula felt connected to Lucas; she felt as if he understood her, and he was always there in times of need.

“We began talking and I felt like he was there for me. Eventually we took things offline and would message and talk over the phone on a daily basis.

“We developed what I perceived to be a real relationship and I really developed feelings for him, despite us having never met in person. We told each other we were in love with each other,” said Urszula, with a reflective, yet foreboding tone to her voice.

Lucas had social media accounts; his Instagram looked genuine and he would send Urszula photos and videos of himself on Snapchat. She believed there was nothing suspicious about it… But in hindsight, she knew little of how easy it is to pretend to be somebody you’re not on social media.

As the weeks, and even months, progressed, Urszula’s feelings towards Lucas continued to grow, reaching their peak when he told her he would be moving to her hometown of New York City for an internship at a technology company.

She booked a $280 flight to visit Lucas in Missouri before he moved for good; but it wasn’t long after that when the situation turned sinister.

Just days before Urszula’s flight, Lucas made a shocking and heartbreaking confession.

“He told me: “I’m not the guy I’ve been saying I am… I’m not the guy in the pictures.”

“I was in a state of disbelief at first, until he insisted I see his real Instagram profile… That confirmed it for me; there was no photo evidence of ‘Lucas’- the person he was pretending to be.

“Not long after he revealed himself… He blocked me.” Urszula said, with her voice sounding somewhat desensitised now to the distressing incident that occurred two years ago.

“I felt deceived, disappointed… disgusted.” She confessed, though now portraying a sense of resentment towards her fraudulent ex-boyfriend.

And as if that wasn’t enough turmoil for Urszula to take, this isn’t where the twisted love story ends. Upon finding out that the man she had fallen in love with didn’t even exist, Urszula wondered if she had been the only victim of Lucas’ web of lies.

Hours were spent tirelessly searching Lucas’ Instagram followers for other potential female victims, and after days of research, Urszula came to a devastating conclusion: she wasn’t the only woman who had been emotionally exploited by this devilishly charming, yet fictitious individual… In fact, more than 400 other women had been, too.

“He admitted to me that he’d catfished probably more than 400 women, many of whom- including me- had shared personal conversations over the phone and had even sent him intimate photos and videos of ourselves.

“Just like me, they had all been manipulated- we were used as some kind of ‘experiment’ and he was only interested in us for his own pleasure,” Urszula said, bitterly, with an acknowledgement of betrayal.

Having fallen victim to such an act of betrayal, it’s no mystery as to why Urszula now avoids online dating at all costs. She said: “Finding out Lucas wasn’t real left me feeling deceived, and it would now be impossible for me to trust online dating.”

But as an online fashion blogger and influencer, Urszula makes her living online, and her experience with Lucas has taken a toll on her trust in the online community. She now has to think twice about the people she meets on the internet through doing her job, and overall she is more cautious and aware.

Thinking again about the last year of turmoil, Urszula revealed what was the final nail in the coffin, and the last chapter in her tale of heartbreak- Lucas’ final lie.

“It’s really messed up, because when he was apologising to me for lying after he told me who he really was, he told me I was the last one. It was obviously bullshit- there were 400 others!

“I would have never expected this to happen to me. It was even more disgusting that he never showed any remorse for treating us 400 girls in this way.

“It literally felt like he had stabbed me in the back.”

Urszula thought Lucas was the man of her dreams; she thought he was her shoulder to cry on; he supported her, adored her, and she thought she could trust him with anything. Instead, he turned out to be the cause of her living nightmare. She thought she was Lucas’ one in a million… But she was just his one in 400.