​“I would walk into town on my own just for some kind of human interaction because I had no one. I was crying every day.”
People always say university will be the best time of your life, but what happens when it’s not? Laura Jones* experienced first-hand the harsh impact that university can have upon mental health, and it made her so depressed that her only option was to drop out.
​
In the months and weeks leading up to the day when you finally move to university, you’re promised that the oncoming years will be the best of your life. You love the idea of living independently, you can’t wait to make new friends and you probably think you’ll love the new city you now call home. But for a lot of students this isn’t always the case… So what happens when your university experience is the polar opposite of what you had always hoped for?
​
With university comes big changes which sometimes result in reasonable feelings of loneliness and isolation in the first few days and weeks. But for some people these feelings don’t go away and instead they can turn more sinister, developing into a downward spiral of serious mental health complications like anxiety and depression.
​
According to data released in 2017 by the Higher Education Statistics Agency (HESA), more than 53,000 students are reported to suffer with a mental health condition. But although the rates of suffering are so high, feelings of isolation and loneliness are all too often interpreted as something to be ashamed of. As a result, suffering happens in silence.
​
What’s more, the findings by HESA also showed a 210% increase in the number of students who dropped out of university due to mental health issues between 2010 and 2015. Sadly, it seems this rate shows few signs of slowing down.
​
The nature of mental health issues means sufferers can find it difficult to talk about their struggles, which makes them even harder to overcome. But sharing personal accounts of mental ill health can be useful both for the individual and for others around them; which is why recovering depression sufferer Laura Jones shares her story.
​
Laura, a 20-year-old ex-university student from Surrey had been suffering from mild symptoms of depression since the age of 16. She had high hopes for her university experience — as most do — but the reality of her university life caused her depression to reach an all-time low.
​
Her initial hopes for university were similar to most people’s: “My expectation of university was that it would be the best three years of my life. You get told you’ll make friends you’ll keep for life; you get to experience living away from home and you get to study subjects you enjoy in much more depth,” Laura said.
​
Unfortunately, it wasn’t long after she arrived at university when her dreams of having the time of her life failed to become a reality, and instead the unrelenting feelings of loneliness and isolation reared their ugly head.
​
“The expectations I had for university didn’t turn out to be true for me. I actually found that it was really hard to make friends for various reasons; my accommodation had no communal areas so I didn’t meet anybody outside of my flat. Surprisingly at fresher’s week there weren’t actually a lot of opportunities to meet new people.
​
“What didn’t help was that I was suffering with health issues for much of first year, which stopped me from going out and socialising with new people.” Laura said.
​
Failing to make solid friendships in the initial weeks of university had a knock-on effect on the rest of the academic year for Laura; when it came to finding housemates to live with in second year, she found it particularly challenging: “By half way through my first year I realised: “Oh, I have no one to live with next year still” and in the end I jumped into living in a house full of girls who I didn’t really know very well.”
​
In reflection, this turned out to be a big mistake, because when second year rolled around, Laura’s housemates showed their true colours. She struggled to get on with her housemates and they made her feel excluded, unhappy and extremely lonely. As a result, she decided to move back into a studio flat alone, but it was at this point when Laura’s pre-existing depression and feelings of loneliness really reached their peak.
​
“I moved into my own flat and I was 100%, completely isolated by then. I would walk into town on my own just for some kind of human interaction because I had no one. In my studio flat I didn’t even have housemates I could talk to.
​
“Social media made the loneliness even worse for me because I would see people were going out clubbing and having so much fun whilst I was at home all by myself.
​
“I was literally crying every day,” she said, with a sad and weakening voice.
​
Things didn’t seem to get better for Laura, as she spent every day alone and even stopped attending her lectures and seminars. It wasn’t until her mum visited her at her second year flat when she realised things needed to change. She knew that returning to the comfort and familiarity of her family home was the only way she’d recover.
​
Laura said: “On one occasion when I was really unwell, my mum drove to my accommodation to cook me dinner. She told me I couldn’t go on living this way. My depression had become the worst it ever was.”
​
Instead of having the best three years of her life like she had desperately wished for, Laura was living an emotional nightmare. Those few words from her mum were enough to confirm that she wanted to go home, and for good. She now says with confidence that withdrawing from university was the best decision for her… But doing so still came with a hint of regret.
​
She said: “Sometimes I regret dropping out, because I see my friends about to graduate and unfortunately, according to society, I’m not as smart because I haven’t completed university. But looking back, I 100% made the right decision by dropping out when I did. Even now my mental health isn’t in a perfect condition, but it’s so much better.”
​
Claire Goodwin-Fee, a counsellor and psychotherapist, says Laura’s situation is not uncommon: “Expectations of what university will be like are usually set very high, and when those expectations aren’t fulfilled, people are left feeling disappointed.
​
“If we combine that with the immense pressure of deadlines, living in a new environment and finding it hard to fit in socially, we can begin to feel isolated, lonely and our mental health can suffer.
​
“It’s normal that new students will feel homesick at times, or apprehensive about facing new experiences. But it becomes a serious issue when students find themselves feeling low and agitated more often than not; lacking interest in activities they once enjoyed; and becoming unmotivated and withdrawing themselves socially,” Claire said.
​
She advises that, if you are concerned about your mental health, you should reach out to a doctor, counsellor or even a friend. It might seem daunting, but it will bring a sense of relief knowing you aren’t facing those difficulties alone.
​
Suffering with mental health issues is never anything to be ashamed of and you don’t have to suffer in silence. There is always somebody ready to listen if you’re willing to talk. For more information regarding the issues discussed in this piece, visit mind.org.uk.
​
​
​
*Laura's real name has been changed for the protection of her identity in this article.